This was my last Sunday. In this picture is Manuel Castro, me, Fabiano, and Presidente Calle. They are all wonderful, funny, men.
My last day of church was actually fast Sunday. General Conference was the first weekend in October. So I do remember bearing my testimony in relief society. I remember crying.
I also remember that Sister Pendleton made the closing hymn, "God be with you till we meet again." I looked up at her (she was the chorister) and she smiled me. I wanted to die inside. It made me so sad inside!
After church I said goobye to as many people as I could. It didn't seem real that I was no longer going to be attending this chapel in Princeton anymore. It was mind boggling that I would be at my own chapel the following Sunday. I would be speaking and I knew what my topic was.
It was happening. I was going home and there was nothing I could do about it. But don't get me wrong. It wasn't that I didn't want to go home--it was more the fact that I didn't want to end my time being a full time missionary.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Last Monday as a Missionary
The Taji family. We love them so much. We went over for dinner and had family home evening afterward.
I know this is lame, but I actually remember the dinner we had. It was probably because she cooked it inside a pumpkin. It was delicious.
Of course, I forgot what we did for FHE, but I'm sure it was spiritual.
I actually have a dated journal entry for this day.
Monday, October 15, 2007
All I can remember from this night is Sister Woolley freaking out because she was getting transferred. It was a crazy night, but it was memorable!
I know this is lame, but I actually remember the dinner we had. It was probably because she cooked it inside a pumpkin. It was delicious.
Of course, I forgot what we did for FHE, but I'm sure it was spiritual.
I actually have a dated journal entry for this day.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Today I packed. I felt like vomiting and crying at the sametime. Is that possible? Well, it is, because I felt it. I dont want to leave. I want to continue to be a good missionary. To become better. I keep relearning lessons. I guess I just don't seem to get it. I have so much to learn. But I think I'm beginning to understand myself. I'm excited, I'm sad, I'm mad at myself, I'm anxious, I'm nervous, I'm faithful, I'm faithless. I seem to go from one emotion to another.
I know I'm going home, and then sometimes I don't feel like I am. It's like I go back into denial. The area is getting doubled in, so we are scrambling to get the area book all updated and the apartment in tip top shape so the new sisters don't have much stress, well, that it won't add to the stress. I know what it feels like to get doubled in. It's scary and yhou don't know where anything is. We are goin to try really hard to make small notecards so they will know how to get to different cities and whatnot.
All I can remember from this night is Sister Woolley freaking out because she was getting transferred. It was a crazy night, but it was memorable!
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Breakfast with the Elders
Since, our Princeton Gang would be disembled, we all decided that breakfast would be a great idea to spend our last time together as a group. I really had such a great 2 transfers with these elders. They are all friends for life!
And there you have it. I had tons of fun on p-days with these elders. We would play murder in the dark, mafia and whatever game was cool and fun. Some of the best p-days out of my whole mission.
Elder Waite and Elder Kitchen making yummy pancakes. Or at least trying.
Elder Richins trying to kiss Elder Tennsmeyer and Elder Ritchie looking at pass along cards.
Ha! Elder Kitchen mooning the camera. I promise Elder Ritchie does not have his arm around me!
The Princeton Gang!
Elder Waite. He has the coolest nostrils.
We are so cool!
I am not sure what they are looking at.
My favorite picture! And yes, I have two name tags!
Elder Lloyd and Elder Green
Elder Richins (Our District Leader) and Elder Kitchen
veggie tale fanatics
He's probably saying something cool to me.
Coolest picture of my hair! I love Sister Woolley in the background, too!
Elder Kitchen said he was supposed to serve in New Jersey because his birthmark is in the shape of the state!
Saying Goodbye to People we Love
Sister Woolley found out she was getting transferred (this was a major surprise for her) and so we knew that we had all of Tuesday to go and say goodbye to people. It was a bittersweet process. It really was.
They are such a sweet family! They were hilarious. They fed me vennison and kept telling She kept telling me it was beef, but then he would shake his head no. They were way fun to go and visit and do service for.
I remember having to take several of these pictures.
Mrs. Toto. So much can be said about her. I love her so much. I greatly miss her homemade goodies.
She is so wonderful!
She gave us nightgowns. To wear on our wedding night. Yeah. She's so cool!
Ken Negus. I miss his guitar playing!
He is so cool to do a silly pose with us!
Sister Jones. She is also a returned missionary. She told me that life gets so much better after the mission because you get married and have babies!
This is the right side of the church in Princeton.
And this is the left side of the church.
The day went by way to fast for my liking. Once nightfall hit, we were both so tired, but far from done. We still had to pack!
Last Email Home
I wish I could describe the feelings that have been mixed up inside of me. I wish I could express myself the way I really want to, but I know that I cannot.
It was a blur. It happened so fast. Does 18 months really go that quickly? Is it possible? I think the Lord put life in fast forward. This all seems so surreal. My mind is full of fragmented thoughts. I think I'm finally waking up from my dream and all I want to fall into a deeper sleep.
I'm at the edge of the cliff again. I remember being at the edge when I left for the MTC. I remember standing there and being completely terrified to leave for the mission field. I had no idea what was ahead of me. I had no idea what adventures and lessons I would learn. But I stood there and I looked back and then I jumped. Heavenly Father has definitely helped me to fly. He has been my guide as I learned to more fully listen to His promptings.
And, I am at the edge again. This time I'm coming back to the real world. I'm coming back home. I'm looking back here in New Jersey and the I'm beginning to look forward. I'm about to jump and now I know that Heavenly Father will help me fly once again. I'm jumping into the unknown. The security blanket of my nametag will be removed but I will still have the comfort and the guidance of the Holy Ghost. What new adventures await me? What lessons do I still have to learn? What lessons do I have to relearn again and again? The possibilities are endless. I feel like my life is about to truly begin. Everything prior to my mission was just preparation.
My mission has become the foundation for my eternity. For my salvation. I realize the importance of embracing the gospel and applying the principles and lessons I have learned while serving the Lord. The small things really do count. Reading my scriptures really does make a difference in my day. Saying my prayers really does draw me closer to Heavenly Father. Going to church does help increase my knowledge and bring comfort to certain trials that I may be facing. Attending the temple really does put an eternal perspective on life's purpose.
I almost feel like I'm being born again. Does that make sense? But this time I have all this knowledge under my belt that will allow me to live happily. I have a jumpstart on life!
This has been the best 18 months of my life and its been the hardest 18 months of my life. I have had such high self esteem and I have been to the very pit of depression. I've been loved, torn apart, squished, stretched, lifted, dropped, sick, healthy, and everything else...in one day. I've had superb days and I've had crummy depressing days and I loved every moment of them.
I'm sitting at this computer for the very last time in the Princeton library with so much to say and I can barely keep one thought in my mind at a time. I apologize for this e-mail as I know it is all over the place. I just want to convey that I have loved being a missionary for the Lord. For the one true church that is on the earth. I have cherished it and perhaps I should have cherished it more as the time is coming when I will have to remove my nametag. The thought sends my insides to jello.
I have done my best. I have served honorably and I probably could have served more valiantly, but I know the Lord is well pleased with the work I have done here in New Jersey. I now know more about the gospel of Jesus Christ and I know how to be a great member missionary. I know all about missionary work. I have Preach My Gospel to thank for that.
Yes, I am so excited to see you all. The thought that I will be in everyones arms brings a knot to my throat. I have missed you all so very much. But I am also torn inside to be leaving my home. Oh, if only I could have the wish of my heart and be in two places at once. I'm thankful that New Jersey isn't too far... I love this gospel. I love the plan of salvation. I love the comfort in knowing I will be able to see many of these people in the Celestial Kingdom. That my family can be forever. Our Heavenly Father really does love us! I love you. Everyone one of you.
God be with you till we meet again.
for the last time,Sister Ramirez
It was a blur. It happened so fast. Does 18 months really go that quickly? Is it possible? I think the Lord put life in fast forward. This all seems so surreal. My mind is full of fragmented thoughts. I think I'm finally waking up from my dream and all I want to fall into a deeper sleep.
I'm at the edge of the cliff again. I remember being at the edge when I left for the MTC. I remember standing there and being completely terrified to leave for the mission field. I had no idea what was ahead of me. I had no idea what adventures and lessons I would learn. But I stood there and I looked back and then I jumped. Heavenly Father has definitely helped me to fly. He has been my guide as I learned to more fully listen to His promptings.
And, I am at the edge again. This time I'm coming back to the real world. I'm coming back home. I'm looking back here in New Jersey and the I'm beginning to look forward. I'm about to jump and now I know that Heavenly Father will help me fly once again. I'm jumping into the unknown. The security blanket of my nametag will be removed but I will still have the comfort and the guidance of the Holy Ghost. What new adventures await me? What lessons do I still have to learn? What lessons do I have to relearn again and again? The possibilities are endless. I feel like my life is about to truly begin. Everything prior to my mission was just preparation.
My mission has become the foundation for my eternity. For my salvation. I realize the importance of embracing the gospel and applying the principles and lessons I have learned while serving the Lord. The small things really do count. Reading my scriptures really does make a difference in my day. Saying my prayers really does draw me closer to Heavenly Father. Going to church does help increase my knowledge and bring comfort to certain trials that I may be facing. Attending the temple really does put an eternal perspective on life's purpose.
I almost feel like I'm being born again. Does that make sense? But this time I have all this knowledge under my belt that will allow me to live happily. I have a jumpstart on life!
This has been the best 18 months of my life and its been the hardest 18 months of my life. I have had such high self esteem and I have been to the very pit of depression. I've been loved, torn apart, squished, stretched, lifted, dropped, sick, healthy, and everything else...in one day. I've had superb days and I've had crummy depressing days and I loved every moment of them.
I'm sitting at this computer for the very last time in the Princeton library with so much to say and I can barely keep one thought in my mind at a time. I apologize for this e-mail as I know it is all over the place. I just want to convey that I have loved being a missionary for the Lord. For the one true church that is on the earth. I have cherished it and perhaps I should have cherished it more as the time is coming when I will have to remove my nametag. The thought sends my insides to jello.
I have done my best. I have served honorably and I probably could have served more valiantly, but I know the Lord is well pleased with the work I have done here in New Jersey. I now know more about the gospel of Jesus Christ and I know how to be a great member missionary. I know all about missionary work. I have Preach My Gospel to thank for that.
Yes, I am so excited to see you all. The thought that I will be in everyones arms brings a knot to my throat. I have missed you all so very much. But I am also torn inside to be leaving my home. Oh, if only I could have the wish of my heart and be in two places at once. I'm thankful that New Jersey isn't too far... I love this gospel. I love the plan of salvation. I love the comfort in knowing I will be able to see many of these people in the Celestial Kingdom. That my family can be forever. Our Heavenly Father really does love us! I love you. Everyone one of you.
God be with you till we meet again.
for the last time,Sister Ramirez
Last Fireside and the Mission Home
They morning that my companion and I were supposed to leave was surreal. I remember waking up, having slept with no blankets. I think I woke up sick (emotionallly). I remember taking a shower and straightening my hair. I packed all my bathroom stuff and sat down on my empty study desk. This was it. I was leaving this wonderful apartment.
We also tried to clean our apartment because the new sisters would be there and we didn't want them to have a dirty apartment. I remember Sister Woolley wasn't talking to me very much. I concluded that she was upset about being transferred and possibly me leaving as well. Or maybe she just didn't get enough sleep. At any rate, there was minimal to no talking as we prepared to leave.
We drove to the elder's apartment in ( enter city here) and waited for the member who was going to drive us down to the Cherry Hill Stake Center. After loading the truck, we headed out.
When it was my turn to bear my testimony, I couldn't believe it. I had always envisioned the day when I would be up there with other missionaries at the end of their missions. I remember my very first transfer meeting when I saw and heard missionaries bear their last testimony. Now it was my turn.
Even though I had bore my testimony, it still didn't feel like I was going home. It didn't feel real. It really did feel like I was just in a dream.
After the slideshow, and the announcement of other transfers, everyone dispersed. I met up with people I hadn't seen in so long.
After I said goodbye to members and to the other missionaries, the chapel was getting emptier and emptier. I think this is when it really hit me. I went to the bathroom and I sat on the counter and sobbed. I didn't want to leave my mission. I didn't want to say goodbye to these people that I may never see again.
After I regained composure, I cleaned my eyes so I wouldn't look like a raccoon and walked outside to find
if there were any other missionaries still around.
We also tried to clean our apartment because the new sisters would be there and we didn't want them to have a dirty apartment. I remember Sister Woolley wasn't talking to me very much. I concluded that she was upset about being transferred and possibly me leaving as well. Or maybe she just didn't get enough sleep. At any rate, there was minimal to no talking as we prepared to leave.
We drove to the elder's apartment in ( enter city here) and waited for the member who was going to drive us down to the Cherry Hill Stake Center. After loading the truck, we headed out.
Me and Sister Woolley. She is so silly.
Elder Kitchen being weird. Ha!
He has the weirdest facial expressions!
Elder Cowgur
Elder Kitchen, me, Sister Woolley
I don't even know where we got pretzel sticks. We are so cool!
Ew! Elder Kitchen has his stuck in his nostril!
As you can see, we had plenty of fun with our pretzel sticks. I think the drive to Cherry Hill is about an hour and half. But I do remember we hit traffic, which made us late to the transfer meeting. I had to walk up to the stage and sit next to the other missionaries leaving.
When it was my turn to bear my testimony, I couldn't believe it. I had always envisioned the day when I would be up there with other missionaries at the end of their missions. I remember my very first transfer meeting when I saw and heard missionaries bear their last testimony. Now it was my turn.
Even though I had bore my testimony, it still didn't feel like I was going home. It didn't feel real. It really did feel like I was just in a dream.
After the slideshow, and the announcement of other transfers, everyone dispersed. I met up with people I hadn't seen in so long.
Sister Carter. I was sad that Marc was not able to make it.
Members from the New Brunswick Branch. I love them!
Silly boy!
Just looking at this picture makes me want to cry. I loved New Brunswick so much!
My favorite person. Hermana Lucy De La Hoz
Sister Woolley giving me a big hug and Elder Richins laughing his head off.
Me being happy with them!
La Familia De La Cruz
Elders Cowgur, Kitchen, me, Elders Waite and Ritchie.
I feel so short in this picture!
Me and Elder Kitchen. My face looks cool.
Trying to re-enact the cool picture we did earlier this week.
check out that double chin action.
I had to get another picture with one of my favorite families.
After I regained composure, I cleaned my eyes so I wouldn't look like a raccoon and walked outside to find
if there were any other missionaries still around.
I found Elder Tennsemeyer. He was the AP at this time. He does a great impression of President Monson.
I also found Hermana Johnson and had to take a quick picture with her.
And who could forget Elder Englis!
and of course, Morrill. Sweet, Sweet, Morrill! and I do believe she is wearing my shirt!
I felt better and looked for the other missionaries who were also going home. We were all deciding on where to go for lunch because by this time, we were all starving. We decided on cheesecake factory.
I rode with Sister Winegar. It was a lot of fun eating with the other elders. Afterward, we went back to the mission home and played. It was a free for all, really. We waited until it was our turn for our exit interviews.
My exit interview was so emotional. I can't even remember what President Winegar asked me. But I do remember expressing how much I didn't want to leave the mission field. I cried. He cried. When I was done, I went up to my room and sobbed for what seemed like forever. It was a moment that I will never forget. When I was done, I cleaned off my make up for the 2nd time and changed into p-day clothes because the elders were playing outside.
We played softball with a woofle ball. It was so much fun. And then we headed inside and played Mormon Madgab. I was dominating. It was so much fun!
The group that was headed back to babylon!
From left to right: Elders Bedke, Maccabe, Smith, Me (not touching elder Smith because we have a pillow separating us) Elders Anderson, and Harward. We are missing Hermana Tieman, but she came later.
Elder Cummard.
Elder Anderson writing in my memory book.
Everyone went to their rooms around 12am. I don't think anyone wanted to go to sleep. I know I didn't. Sleep was the last thing on my mind.
Before bed, I wrote in my journal. This is dated October 18, 2007.
Surreal. That's all I can say. Surreal. I feel like this whole day just flew by!! I don't even know what to say. I could say so much, but I don't have the time, well, I do, but I don't have the energy. Plus, my mind isn't working properly. Today it hit me. It hit me at the most awkward time, while I was talking to some people at the fireside. Everything just kind of fell apart. After that I sort of just blurred goodbyes to people. I went into the girls bathroom and propped myself on teh contertop and sobbed. It hit, and it hit hard. I also broke down during my interview with President. I came up to my room and sobbed. Life is going to be a little difficult for a while. It's past 12am. I have to sleep.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)